The prep for the C-section seemed to take forever but when it was time to head to the operating room, it suddenly felt like it all came at warp speed. The nine months of pregnancy, the long days of renovating the house, the hormonal meltdowns, the growing strength of kicks, the cravings, the body changes and now the last hospital visit. So fast that I was suddenly being strolled to the operating room without even having said goodbye to my mom. Beau was by my side but was told he had to wait outside and dress up while I entered the OR alone; I was terrified!
Entering the Operating Room
Entering the operating room was seriously one of the most bizarre experiences of my life. Almost this out of body feeling, and for a moment, a stop in time as I took in my surroundings. Fear crept in more vigorously as I was wheeled farther in. It was the whitest brightest room I had ever seen with a lonely bed located smack in the middle. The handful of medical people inside seemed alien like with their attire and emotionless faces amongst all the stone cold shiny equipment. Not one cheery greeting was given to me; a woman about to meet her child for the first time, but what seemed like icy glares. Everything was oh so very serious. As I tried to process this movie like set and deal with contractions that were crippling my body, I was told to sit on the bed for the epidural to be administrated. Suddenly I just panicked as I hadn’t told Beau where I had put my insurance policies and tears began to flow.
The epidural wasn’t as bad as I had anticipated and was a god send considering I was now uncomfortably sitting on the dreadful catheter and could no longer endure my contractions. It did cause some side effects that I consistently gave panicked play by plays to the nurse holding my hands. But they were all supposedly normal albeit how abnormal it all felt to me.
The First Cut
A few more medical questions were asked and I was to lay down. It was time. The blue sheet went up and I didn’t look anywhere but straight up. Amongst the medical babble my amazing doctor (the one who raced to be there and was assisting) comforted me while providing me with a PG-13 step by step of what was happening. I continued to ask questions in hopes that the feelings of being poked and pushed were normal. I was quickly reassured that everything was going great as they had already sliced me open and I hadn’t cried out in pain.
Beau in Shining Armour
Unknown to me they would be starting without Beau physically present in the room! I didn’t like this one bit and just longed for him to be there. He was finally allowed in and was a true knight in shining armour. I mean, he knew exactly what to do and what to say at the perfect moments. He comforted me, praised me and continuously asked me questions to take my mind off of what was actually happening to my body. He filled that ghostly room with so much love and in that moment he truly, wholeheartedly became my soul mate (I can’t describe my emotion of his presence in any other way).
Suddenly, my doctor piped up and said that our baby was almost to be born. She warned us that she may be very quiet at first as some C-Section babies need some time before their lungs give out a good scream. Seconds later, she was out, with lungs a blazing. It was Sunday November 22 2015 2:58am. All we could do was hear her until a nurse (fiiiiiiinally) walked to our far right side and held her up like a hot potatoe. I will never in my existence forget this moment.
Time stood still as I looked past Beau and onto the child we had just created, the baby we had longed for. I erupted in tears as I had just seen my child for the very first time. Her limbs were flailing and her voice screaming and still not close enough to touch. I yearned for her as she was whisked away to be thoroughly checked out.
My heart so full, my eyes so teary as now I look the father of my child in the eyes and discuss how beautiful our baby is. From that very moment I would forever see him in this new magical light. A nurse went and got my camera and took a couple of images while they weighed her, measured her and inspected her which I thought was so nice (although I wish we got a first family photo as well but everything happened so fast after that). A teeny 6 pounds 3 ounces and 50 cm long; our Olivia Blair.
Meeting Our Baby
Finally she was in Beau’s arms. I could have burst with the emotion I was feeling. This tiny little girl already wrapped around this strong man’s fingers. He was so good in making sure I could see her and brought her right up to my face so I could smooch her and tell her how loved she was already.
I remember them telling Beau he had to leave while they finished up the surgery but I don’t really remember much else as I was on such a roller coaster of emotions. I was on an absolute high from meeting my perfect healthy baby for the very first time and so anxious to see my little family again.
Soon enough I was being strolled out into recovery where Beau was. The first time dad that was just left in the hospital corridors alone in the middle of the night with his brand new (still screaming) little girl. As I was strolled into recovery Beau took her quickly to show my mom her very first grandchild and then it was my turn. Olivia Blair immediately settled as she was placed into my arms. She couldn’t wait to be in her mama’s arms and this mama couldn’t wait to have her in them; for the rest of her life.