Welcome to my blog! A place that I wished to have developed years ago as I myself followed so many others sharing their stories and had the urge to share my own. So, I (half ass-ly) tried. First came a cupcake blog with a friend of mine where we would travel around our city, try cupcakes and blog about our experiences. A few months and handful of blog posts later we found we were running out of bakeries within the distance we were willing to travel and realized it wasn’t entirely great on our waistlines. Then came a brand New Year and I thought “what a great resolution” and began to write a new blog. My photos weren’t pretty, my blog was makeshift and I ultimately realized I didn’t even have a story to tell, so with time it just became another lost blog on the internet.
Then came the year of rotten lemons; moldy lemon, after moldy lemon. Negativity and bad news kept flooding into my life. Buckets so full and so frequent that I didn’t even have time to heal from one event before I was experiencing another. Our biggest (and most recent) heartache was the loss of our son Liam Ray Thibideau 18.5 weeks into our pregnancy due to complications. The biggest struggle was having to deliver our precious little boy, knowing we were about to be stripped of his living presence in our lives, as he would be sleeping. We were distraught, devastated, mad, sad and everything inbetween (we still are). During this dark time I frequented a lot of blogs looking for support, advice as well as a place to experience someone else’s life, even if just for a moment, to get out of my hell. I began to find comfort and compassion in this crazy blogging world and knew I would eventually want to provide the same. Although I am still healing and nowhere near able to control my constant ache of loss, heartache and the overwhelming sensation of being home sick, I am getting out of bed. I am eating, smiling, spending time with friends and family (who have no idea how much they’ve helped us in our healing), finding positivity in the world and gaining the energy to try to grow. I do see my Liam shining down his “Ray” of sun on us daily. So what better time to start this project then when in growth mode? Oh, and we just expanded our family by a furbaby who will make her debut this week.
This blog will be my story however it may unfold. Definitely a place where I share my heartache and struggle with the loss of my son, my postpartum experience and my journey in discovering how to manage the mommy hood I didn’t receive and therefore constantly crave. But it will also be the home of the magic I know we will be lucky to receive. A place full of glistening, glittering beautiful lemons .
Welcome to my life’s journal where you’ll get to meet my family, follow our dreams of becoming parents, see a glimpse of my daily life as I venture through it and of course all the other things that come with blogging (outfits, food and fun).
I look forward to sharing my journey.
Photography: Castle Avenue Photography