General, Infant Loss, Mommy

December: A Brewing Storm

Here we are December 2014 {insert huge sigh here}. The month usually full of excitement, extreme decorating and endless ear to ear smiles. But here I am  scared shitless for its arrival. A month I have always been SO excited for as I love all things holiday but more recently, a month that was supposed to hold the most magic for my heart and life. But as everyone opens their arms widely for the magic that this month brings to them, I am building up my shield for the storm that is brewing. Every day I make a huge effort to mentally put more pieces together to guard my heart from the approaching day of December 15th, my due date. Gosh, my head spins just even thinking about the dark reality of it all. BUT

So here I am in a month of clouds that gloom darkly overhead fighting every minute to try and enjoy the glitter glistening around me. This naturally means Christmas and all positive things surrounding it. I’ve been keeping super busy capturing precious families’ Christmas moments, making an effort to really appreciate the beautiful decorations in every store and finally getting around to making a Christmas List. This list is one my mom has been asking from me for weeks and I kept procrastinating… almost in a boycotting kind of way. I was not going to let myself enjoy the holidays and therefore was no way making a list. But a couple days ago I decided not to get defeated by this storm I’m in and try to enjoy the things I’ve always really enjoyed. So I sat my booty down and with some difficulty made a fun little list.

I wanted to share it with you in case you were also struggling. Nothing like a little inspiration. I find that adulthood really makes lists difficult as the items you want have already been purchased by yourself and those you really want are way too expensive to put on any list and the reason they aren’t purchased by thyself in the first place.

1. Cowl Neck Jumper. In Black
aka A sweater dress that is tres necessary for our Canadian winters

2. Black Original Hunter Wellington Rainboots
Caving in… (tempted to be bold and get Peacock, but can’t commit)

3. Aztec Sweater (Inspiration here)
I really love vibrant aztec patterns and find open oversized cardigans comfy

4. Hobo Handbag In Black with zipper closure (no need for brand name)
I still use my Coach hobo bag from 8 years ago… it’s time

5. Leopard Cardigan or Long Sleeve
My friends make fun of me for my cardigan “obsession”

6. Younique Lashes
Check out my last post why

7.  Anything Liam Engraved
This is the #1 thing on my list. First I didn’t want anything like it to avoid being devastated if one were to ever be lost or broken but I’ve decided not to stop enjoying the little things because of fear

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