Fashion, General, Infant Loss, Mommy

Raw Year in Review


And here we are, the last day of 2014. The most tragic year of my life. I thought 2013 was quite a year of heartache, but nothing could compare to 2014. Relationship woes, tragedy in a friends home, a health scare,  the devastating loss of our baby Liam and the horrendous postpartum rollercoaster that provided multiple unwanted sleepovers in the trauma unit and more bloodwork than one could imagine all definitely took a toll on my positive spirited body. All I could think was, when is this nightmare going to end because I am soon to crumble. Lo and behold here we are, the day before a new year. Although my loss of Liam will forever travel with me and my healing will go on forever, I truly feel like a brand new year brings a fresh new start.  My heart is wide open for the adventures that await us.

I must mention though, that 2014 was not all bad. The goodness unfortunately fights for it’s light because the darkness is so dark.  Yes, there were a lot of tears shed and days spent in bed but there were also some very magical moments. My relationship with Beau received some much needed tender loving care which was oh so refreshing and amazing for us as a couple. So positive in fact that we decided to have a family. Of course our plan quickly turned into reality and although we were thrown for an unimaginable loop, the loss of our child together has bonded us in such a way that we know we can battle through anything, together. We have weathered all the storms and are still standing hand in hand. Boy, is my heart grateful.

New friends were made, acquaintances were awakened and the strongest of friendships grew even stronger. I shed tears in this paragraph of how thankful I am. Especially for my best friends. The ones who are by my side through it all. The ones who continue to share their magic with me. Such joyous times with these girls. My high school bestie married the man of her dreams this summer and our best friend had the most adorable little girl whom I am SO proud to be an auntie too. Must I mention we were both present as she was finding out she was becoming a mommy for the very first time. We jumped and cheered and smiled from ear to ear as the test result revealed “1-2 weeks” pregnant. Surreal moment of pure magic.

Family. I could leave it at that one word and you just know the love and support that oozed from our families. Especially our parents who were present all year at every single beck and call. And when darkness arose they hid their own sadness and came to the rescue. They also spoiled us in both love and gifts day in and day out. I love them so much.

Photography may have never been what it is without 2014 (thank you for the reminder ;)). During my time off work I had time to figure out what got me out of bed, what kept my mind occupied and what made me happy. Castle Avenue Photography was born and I am such so excited for the adventure.

Our precious little Lily. The cutest boxer you ever did see with one sassy personality. She’s the biggest light in our home and provides so much happiness. She’s a mischievous little rascal and requires 24/7 surveillance haha but her cuddles and unconditional love are SO worth it.

As I type this I realize the list goes on and on. New car, fun events, magical moments for friends and family,  new experiences, this blog and ultimately a bigger heart. I look very forward to what 2015 has in store for us (and not so secretly plead it is a little nicer on us). And yes, I will add (since we get asked frequently) we do cross our fingers for baby number two. We won’t have news for a little bit as my body has to heal but when we do, be sure you’ll be in the loop.

HAPPY NEW YEAR! May it be your best year yet.

xo Camilla

Here is a peak at my New Years getup. Well, more than a peak, the whole thing.



CastleAvenueBlogNYdress  CastleAvenueBlogNYdress



                    Dress: SammyDress (I got REALLY, REALLY lucky with sizing).
                    Watch: Michael Kors 
                    Photography: L.B Photography
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  • Reply Samara

    This was heart breaking, but so touching! You are a beautiful writer, with an incredible story. Where are the rest of your posts about your story and the loss of your child? I would be interested in reading more.

    June 17, 2015 at 2:23 pm
  • Reply Jasmine

    You know I am in awe of your strength! I seen you on instagram and just had to see your blog! Your year was tough but you had some/alot of pretty amazing moments, yes through hardship comes great new beginnings! When I read this post the song by Dolly Parton came into my head “I hope you dance!” Even through the toughest tragedy you still got up and you still are believing for a brighter future, I admire that so greatly! My prayer for you is great abundance, happiness, and peace! This is your year to shine! Happy New Year!

    P.S You look absolutely stunning in those pictures and I love the outfit, simply breathtaking!
    Jasmine 🙂

    January 3, 2015 at 12:46 am
    • Reply Camilla

      Aw Jasmine! What an absolutely beautiful comment to leave. I smiled through the whole thing! Thank you<3 I truly appreciate all the positive words and advice as well and am flattered with your compliments. So happy to have you along on this journey. Shine on doll xo Happy New Year!

      January 4, 2015 at 5:42 pm

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